A month of loss...

It's not often that I write about the sad things, the things that nobody looks forward too, and certainly not many want to deal with.  The month of April seems to have been that type of month for us.  Rather than post two separate things, I'm just talking about them in one single post, because really, loss is loss.  Sadness is sadness and grief is grief.  We have had our fair share this month.

During this month of April, the month of my husbands birth, which is normally celebrated (because trust me, John always says it's his birthday month, not day)...we lost John's dad, Ray, to a brave battle with cancer.  Prostate cancer which had spread into his bones this last year.  I can honestly say, I could have never wished for a better father in law.  He was so super cool, and such a great support to his son in these last few years.  I had the honor of watching John and his Dad develop a closer bond, forgive and move forward from the past and just be close.  Ray and I would often talk, and he would always remind me what I meant to his son, and what I meant to him, and the family.  Ray was easy to talk to, he was kind, would do anything for you.  I will choose to remember Ray as the Dad that never really quit going.  He was always on the go, always yard sales on the weekend or fixin something, or tinkering with this or selling that.  I will never ever forget John and I buying the travel trailer, and John ripping out the shitter on the very first trip (literally, there was shit all over the place on the road)...and me laughing on the side of the road cracking jokes about 'well ain't that the shits'..with my husband getting angrier by the second.  Well, wouldn't you know at the time, Ray was working for an RV dealer in Havasu.  Of course, he was able to put all of the pieces together again...and he and John recently fixed the window on the trailer together.  There was just always something that man could do.  I miss you Dad, we all miss you terribly.  I hope everyones hearts can heal, because there is no greater loss than a parent.

Tomorrow, I am going to loose my beloved Schnauzer, Schatzi.  I have had Schatzi for 15 years, he is like a child to me, furry albeit.  I have had Schatzi in my life longer than my husband!!  Longer than many friendships and for the better part of my adult life.  He was my first big responsibility.  He was my first always companion and friend.  He has been through a boyfriend, or two.  He has moved around once, or six times.  He has hiked with me, taken road trips with me (he loved Grandma's house in Colorado), gone camping with us and recently welcomed home my son for me.  As of these last several months, Schatzi cannot hear, nor can he see.  He maintained his smell, and he makes his way through the house with that.  However, the quality of his days, and his nights are just not good.  He struggles even to stand, and does not know where he is at times.  I think it has come time that Schatzi have some rest, some peace. 


I feel somewhat comforted knowing that Schatzi is going to be taken care of by Ray, John's Dad.  We introduced Ray to the Schnauzer breed by asking he and Barb to adopt Tess, a female I had rescued years ago, who eventually could not stand the big dogs.  They adopted her, and fell madly in love.  Upon loosing her just a couple short years later, they adopted two more schnauzers.  All of them Ray's babies. 


I hope you are fishing in heaven Dad, please take care of my Schatzi for me. 


Love,
Em.